The “Elopement”
December 16th, 2019
A destination wedding comes with many perks. For one, it can feel utterly stressless with the help of a wedding planner and a small guest list. The only possible complication we ran into was that of the marriage legalities. To legally get married in a different country wasn’t as simple as signing a piece of paper on the day of the wedding. It’s a lot of paperwork and it takes time. From the beginning, we decided we would sign the marriage license in Amsterdam before the wedding ceremony to keep it simple for the wedding in Costa Rica. This also simplified some of the steps we would eventually have to take with baby’s arrival, as well. Of course, we had quite some time until March or August.
Yet, the more that the idea sank in the more exciting it became. The logic turned into a little bit of romance.
Suddenly the idea of an intimate “elopement” seemed somewhat romantic; a brief moment where we could, just the two of us, reflect on the love that formed between us seven years ago. What an amazing seven years it’s been. It left room for an intimate sharing of the event without any decisions, planning, or expenses. What we wore didn’t matter. What we ate didn’t matter. It was just us. Over the years, the Dutch’s laid back attitude towards marriage had inspired me to ponder what the role of the elaborate wedding really was in the marriage. What was it’s significance? The expensive ring, dresses, catering, music, etc.-while beautiful, how did they truly signify the happiness and life which we would create together? The truth is, the Dutch are right in that- they don’t. It’s the people that are there who matter. It’s the general celebration of love, the sharing of vows, the understanding of commitment. While celebrating the American wedding traditions with loved ones was important to me, a part of me even, there was also something quite romantic about the thought of a simplified Dutch version, too. As the destination wedding would be small and intimate, getting legally married beforehand would also allow us the chance to celebrate this exciting time in our lives with extended family in America over Christmas. All in all, it just seemed like the perfect plan.
On November 27th, we went down to the gemeente or town hall to declare we wanted to get married. As I am a US citizen, I had to get my birth certificate apostilled by the State Department in Salem, Oregon and provide various other documents. Mom was so helpful with this, sending the apostilled document our way after going there herself. Once the documents were approved that day, we were able to pick a date for the civil ceremony in Amsterdam. The date was set for December 16th, 2019, the day we met seven years ago.
A few weeks later, on December 16th, our doorbell rang. It was a surprise package sent from mom and dad- a bouquet and corsage which would end up being the centerpiece of all of our photos and a true symbol of the merging of our two cultures as they would stay with us through the whole Dutch ceremony. We headed down to the Amsterdam City Hall, unsure of what to expect. At first, the blandness of the building and the constant ringing of bells to call over others, there for various other reasons, felt anything BUT romantic. We laughed a bit nervously trying to predict how this event would play out. Then the officiant walked out in her robe, asking for the bride and groom. Everyone smiled a bit bigger. She walked us to a small room where she took us through our vows and the signing of the marriage license with humor and excitement, until finally hammering the gavel down on the table and pronouncing us husband and wife.
We ended the night with a nice dinner among the lit up winter streets and canals of Amsterdam’s old town. Later, cuddling up in our bed to anticipate the excitement of packing for America the very next day.
While there was no running away or marrying in secret involved in this scenario, it doesn’t technically qualify as an “elopement”. Perhaps it is better referred to as the simple act as it was, the marriage license signing, but I suppose the spontaneity of it felt like a bit more then that. While we can’t wait to celebrate and share our own vows with family during the Costa Rican wedding ceremony on August 3rd, 2022 and consider that the “real” wedding, December 16th will always have a special place in our hearts, too.